Are you Empathic? (Part 1)

ARE YOU EMPATHIC? (A Three-Part Series)

Part One

7 Signs that You Are Naturally Empathic and what Judaism has to Contribute

Has anyone ever told you that you just “get them”? Do people you barely know seem to open up to you? Have you been told you are a good listener?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes”, it is likely that you are an empathic person by nature. The Oxford English dictionary defines empathy as “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another”.

If these traits do not resonate with you and you wish that they did, don’t worry, empathy can be learned. Ultimately, it is a choice. In order to connect to someone else, you have to choose to get in touch with a part of yourself that understands what they are feeling. It is also a fundamental principle in Jewish thought, as we shall see.

Here are 7 signs that you are an empathic person[i]:

1. You feel other people’s feelings and tend to shoulder their burden

2. You know how to listen, you don’t interrupt people and allow them to talk

3. You repel negativity, you are sensitive to the feelings of others, so  negativity rubs you the wrong way

4. You are the one people come to, they trust you, even if they don’t know you so well. Because you feel their feelings, they see themselves within you, and it is not a stretch for them to open up their true self to you

5. You put others first, an empathic person is a giver, not a taker. You give of your time, a listening ear, and your emotional availability.

6. You tend to need your space, as you shoulder the feelings and problems of others, the burden often weighs down too hard, and you need the escape to restore a sense of balance

7. You are intuitive, like a sixth sense. You understand people, you “read between the lines”

One of the underlying themes of empathy is that you make space for others. Not interrupting, or putting yourself forward into the conversation, or offering a solution; simply listening, allowing this time to be about them, a safe space for someone you care about.

At the very core of Jewish values, is understanding the plight of the other. Why is caring for another, and putting yourself in their shoes axiomatic to the Torah worldview? Rabbi Akiva taught us[ii] that the verse[iii] “Love your fellow as yourself” is a “fundamental principle of the Torah”. How do I know what bothers them? Am I a prophet? That is why the verse says to love him like yourself. Learn from yourself. That which you know in your heart. Hillel the Elder was asked to explain the entirety of the Torah while standing on one foot, and he famously said[iv] “That which is hateful to you, do not do to others. That is the whole Torah, the rest is explanation”. The whole Torah? Those are bold words. At the epicentre of Jewish values, the principle which everything else is explaining, is a description of how to relate to others. The psychological inference behind this statement, is that one should be acting toward another with empathy.

In part two of this article we will look to see why this is considered by Hillel to be the whole Torah, and hopefully get some insight into the depth of Torah wisdom, which is of timeless relevance.

 

To read Part Two of this series, click here. 

To read Part Three of this series, click here.