Almost five millions people in Britain have no close friends. Almost five million people in this hyper connected age. Leaving aside our social media engagements, we go to school with other people, work with other people, live next door to other people, yet that person next to you on the tube may be lonely, and your colleague in the next cubicle may be lonely too.
This is important. Friendship enriches lives, it increases our sense of belonging, boosts happiness, improves our self confidence and helps us cope during our time in need. Remove friendship from our lives and we will be lonely and in trouble. Such is the lot of close to five million Britons.
We may take friendship for granted in Jewish circles. Whilst our community may be small it is close knit. We go to school with people who we see in synagogue. We will go to camp over the summer with these people and take a gap year with them too. Going to Birmingham or Nottingham for University? Good chance half of your tour group will be on campus with you.
Whilst it may seem we are born into large communities and ready made social circles, we need to take the time into our relationships, cultivating them and creating strong bonds that can be relied on. That’s why we need to spend some money.
Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers 2:1, feels the need to tells us to go out and acquire a friend “Appoint a teacher for yourself; acquire a friends for yourself and judge everyone favourably” The Hebrew word used for “acquire” is “k’neh” which is used to connote monetary acquisitions.
However, we should steer away from those that are using us for our money, right?
Obviously, if people are hanging out with you because you always spot the bill, it could be wise to reconsider.
We are told to ‘purchase’ our friends, because friendship is valuable. Make sure you get the best friends you can. Take the time to invest time and energy into who you are friends with, and into the friendship itself.
Our typical Jewish friendships tend to fall into our laps, but the friends that we hold near and dear have taken time and effort, and even a few drinks along the way. Be thankful for your friends. Not everybody has them.
